


quotes 2k17

by softiechannie



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Language warning i guess, also some sexual shit is mentioned, idk this is just shit i hear around the place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 19:31:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13255128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softiechannie/pseuds/softiechannie
Summary: this is a list of all the shit my friends and i have heard and said in 2017, some of these and ones that aren't on this list have been used in fite me and meme connoisseurs so you might recognise a few. fair warning, this is a complete shitpost, the majority of these were said by 15 year olds.





	quotes 2k17

"you just won the lotto of death"   
"whats the prize   
"...."   
"death"   
  
who has glue   
no   
  
those pants we bought from the shop, tHEYRE NOT REAL.   
  
youre not ciocia, I AM CIOCIA   
*translation* youre not my aunt, I AM MY AUNT   
  
i can write your name ciocia   
  
my eyes arent open, theyre dead   
  
can you write my name and my mummy and daddy and my house   
  
*dominik talking to cinka, a cat* "hello cinka! you've been sleeping in my room all day!"   
*kirsten’s mum* "she's the only person who'll sleep with you."   
  
i just smashed my entire eyebrow in the door   
  
"didn't you date someone once?"   
"yeah for like two days"   
"bitch i've had relationships for longer than that and i'm a slut"   
  
you guys can touchtype but i can touch write   
  
"how many $1 cookies can you buy for $10?"   
"30!"   
  
"you know what else is lava"   
"my dick"   
"lava!"   
  
"I AM NOT POLAND"   
"you are now"   
  
stop sensually stroking your foot   
  
you can't disagree with human anatomy    
  
i have unlocked the slushie guys tHE SLUSHIE GUYS ARE UNLOCKED   
  
i don't want wrg i want media ass   
  
i'm changing my name to "why won't you accept my pineapple"   
  
who the fuck is josh dun's abs    
  
did you just say "i'm aggressive in the pants section?"   
  
we just exported dylan   
  
if you want to play with your cock, that's fine   
  
punch him in the dick oh no he don't have one   
  
clouds go nyoom   
  
it's not offensive she didn't hear it   
  
kirsten is my bag now   
  
your sleeve is not my bag   
  
spoon or spooze nobody knows    
  
you look like an american kardashian nanny   
  
i'm not a soccer mum i'm a cool mum   
  
"what do i have next"   
"one of em"   
  
gets stabbed "fuck you man"   
  
behead him that'll make him mad   
  
bean's trying to kick me... bean just kicked me   
  
bean do accept the cronch, the thicc or the thicc cronch   
  
the thicc cronch is the handsome cronch   
  
neck hair is delicious    
  
i would just shout into the abyss and hope somebody answers me   
  
"is kissing laptops a straight thing?"   
"yes"   
  
it's just jesus   
  
the manila effect: you think he's in the folder but nope he's not there   
  
i wish there was a font for nicholas cage's voice    
  
adam snadler   
  
no beans for arm day   
  
twey    
  
voldetorty   
  
it's an angry mountain doggo   
  
my base is the chickfern   
  
b is for better than average   
  
whispering in your mouth   
  
we are the eyes of the heck   
  
man i sure do love being punched in the kidney feels great   
  
hOLLY DONT ABUSE HIM THATS MY JOB   
  
easy can take off   
  
optus is santa   
  
i want to become a full adult and buy a juice box   
  
demisexuals are nepal   
  
i'm not giving a josh to nepal     
  
all i can see is molester moon   
  
periwinkle dust mop   
  
room temperature raisin   
  
i thought you said you lost your dick. do you want it back?   
  
sometimes i watch movies and im like HAH BITCH HOW LONG DID THAT TAKE YOU   
  
titanic? more like airtanic   
  
we should should record some behind the scenes vids and most of them would be us fighting each other TO THE DEATH   
  
a wit is a penis, darling    
  
platoo    
  
lick the stick   
  
chicago but with hamlet but with eggs    
  
breathe with your face   
  
the air con hot   
  
"live happily ever after with the bountiful humour" well it's not funny   
  
"does anyone have whiteout?"   
"no but i have depression"   
  
"so what do you guys think the budget for frozen was?"   
"20 bucks"   
  
give me my dickogram   
  
i'm gay boy not a lid   
  
you stole my all of bag   
  
go buy pens   
  
i didn't know jesus was a denim shoe   
  
jesus wears denim. jeansus   
  
did you just say who's got nut wax   
  
"how do you move ???"   
"I DONT"   
  
i got lungs but i don't got teeth   
  
the universe has added the sun to the chat. kirsten has blocked the sun.    
  
gobal warning   
  
i'm not even ladies   
  
your problems don't matter you're small   
  
"you have a boyfriend?"   
"yeah"   
"what's his name?"   
"uhhhhh"   
  
did jordan just say where's my daddy   
  
why does it have one nosehole that's weird    
  
"you could climb onto the roof if you wanted to. don't climb onto the roof."   
"i'll second that"   
  
we need to get lochlan a sugar daddy   
  
it is many french word   
  
does it look like there's any sits   
  
he's wearing socks with thongs. is that even legal in school??   
  
that is just the right amount of leg   
  
roses are red,,,,,,,,,, ah fuck   
  
mchairy sounds like a shitty scottish wrestler    
  
just take your pants off ??   
  
oh no! you just destroyed mount everest   
  
what cows do udders have   
  
YOU HAD ONE JOB AND YOU FUCKED UP TWO   
  
flim    
  
"tv, film, sport, food, fashion or technology"   
"neither"   
  
country music is gay culture   
  
you were gay and now you're fighting someone   
  
"no i need you as a friend"   
"well thanks but i don't need you"   
  
five second spoon   
  
"jshrocs"   
"jish rocks?"   
"is that tyler joseph"   
  
none of these fellas are straight   
  
you don't need nipples to milk an almond   
  
i didn't sign up for fifty shades of the purge   
  
abcdefgqrstuvwxyz i got bored halfway through    
  
yOURE INSECURE DONT KNOW WHAT FOR abcdef qrstuz i don't know that song   
  
tuxedo haemorrhage    
  
20 miles per hour of dad   
  
[our school's name] more like bean   
  
i wanna lick it   
  
i'm caressing the bean   
  
they're not real people they're children   
  
neck is not boobs   
  
ooh yodelling!   
  
that was an aggressive kiss   
  
why does this tape measure have a kid that's a bird   
  
i am billy ray cyrus on drugs   
  
dan and phil and phil    
  
i want to die painfully   
  
comdey    
  
the rumour come out: does romeo is bitch   
  
wow the slides are so colourful miss   
just like my heart   
  
squite   
  
the media room is gay culture   
  
i read divide as daddy   
  
i regret your exorcism    
  
anime kookaburra   
  
my scissors are making me lizards   
  
it's comic sans but like,,,,,,,,, w i d e   
  
i almost spelled cage with an h   
  
hannah monata    
  
north nuke korean   
  
15 is for kirsten    
  
i'm very trying   
  
frohnt    
  
you are many married   
  
back in my day we would only graffiti the love of jesus   
  
shakira yodelling in the distance   
  
i’m the mazing    
  
a parade of middle fingers   
  
defence against the dark ass   
  
a parade of fuck you   
  
questionable sausage with limbs   
  
IM NOT STANDING IM CASUALLING   
  
ass journal   
  
a low quality hair   
  
i am a low quality questionable sausage with limbs   
  
nipple sausage   
  
die with pals: the sequel to suicide squad    
  
10 or 30   
  
don’t die in my classroom i’ll get in trouble   
  
notable ancient christmas   
  
i would gladly drink heroin   
  
shrink the clones not clone the shrinks   
  
everything is a dildo if you try hard enough   
  
"what are you doing?"   
"broomin"   
  
"you just got bamboozled"   
"no i got confuseled"   
  
i have been abandoned by my friendships   
  
did you just say scare some steaks?   
  
EVERYTHING I TOUCH TURNS TO GAY   
  
it’s time for today’s round of “is bean’s head flat enough?”   
  
millennials, are they    
  
my hairs are super leggy    
  
that mannequin’s got abs   
  
sexually oos    
  
phartsmone   
  
because... boat   
  
polyamorous air freshner   
  
it is so cold my dick hairs are turning into pubesicles   
  
a distant bean   
  
dildo o’brien   
  
what’s his name? oh yeah god   
  
you gotta break your legs for satan   
  
THE PUSSY SLAYER HAS ARRIVED   
  
mr gay glitter kinky man is the opposite of mr happy tomato man   
  
boom boom is sexually jackets the song   
  
don’t wear thrasher shirts if you can’t fit a skateboard up your ass   
  
it’s the illuminati with legs   
  
i saw your shoulders jiggling through the window and i wanted to die   
  
squash   
_ -silence- _   
it’s fake potatoes   
  
i would buy foundation if my skin wasn’t a piece of dick   
  
you’re just legs   
  
i’m a dab making a difference   
  
screamshorts    
  
darren, it’s a stop-baby-pill   
  
too much neck   
  
i love being an alcoholic dog father   



End file.
